helloooooo?

-Constantly complaining about the temperature-

A customer was bothering the waiter in a
restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning
be turned up because he was too hot, then he
asked it be turned down cause he was too cold,
and so on for about half an hour. Surprisingly, the
waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth
and never once got angry. So finally, a second
customer asked him why he didn't throw out the
pest. "Oh, I really don't care or mind," said the
waiter with a smile. "We don't even have an air
conditioner."

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

-Bar Jokes-

A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the
bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After
he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt
pocket, then orders the bartender to prepare
another double martini. After he finishes that it, he
again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the
bartender to bring another double martini. The
bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis
all night long - but you gotta tell me why you look
inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill."
The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of
my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it's
time to go home."

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

-Are caterpillars good to eat?-

Johnny: Daddy, are caterpillars good to eat?

Father: Have I not told you never to mention such
things during meals!

Mother: Why did you say that, Junior? Why did
you ask the question?

Johnny: It's because I saw one on daddy's lettuce,
but now it's gone.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

-You should learn to be more polite-

One day, Bill and Tom went to a restaurant for
dinner. As soon as the waiter took out two steaks,
Bill quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself.

Tom wasn't happy about that: "When are you
going to learn to be polite?"

Bill: "If you had the chance to pick first, which one
would you pick?"

Tom: "The smaller piece, of course."

Bill: "What are you whining about then? The
smaller piece is what you want, right?"

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

-The family of tomatoes-

A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown
one day when the little baby tomato started
lagging behind. The big father tomato walks back
to the baby tomato, stomps on her, squashing her
into a red paste, and says, "Ketchup!"

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

-Sorry for eating the peanuts-

A man visits his aunt in the nursing home. It turns
out that she is taking a nap, so he just sits down
in a chair in her room, flips through a few
magazines, and munches on some peanuts sitting
in a bowl on the table.

Eventually, the aunt wakes up, and her nephew
realizes he's absentmindedly finished the entire
bowl. "I'm so sorry, auntie, I've eaten all of your
peanuts!"

"That's okay, dearie," the aunt replied. "After I've
sucked the chocolate off, I don't care for them
anyway."

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

-Purchasing a turkey-

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at
the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough
for her family.

She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any
bigger?"

The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."